Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
