u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
