HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
