where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
