do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
