I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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