ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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