we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
