I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
