i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
