how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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