I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
