New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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