did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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