I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
