Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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