Tell her she can't have a vagina
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Panties = found
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
