It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
