Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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