their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
