No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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