So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
