Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I want to be your penis for a week.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
