dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
