i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
