I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
