so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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