You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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