I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
pray to the hookup gods
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
