I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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