I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
