I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
