I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm at about main and main street
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
