guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
