shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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