Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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