stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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