Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
