so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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