mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
