Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
