I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
