Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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