Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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