She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
