I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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