I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
