Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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