I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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