if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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