Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
