You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
