using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
