Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
