Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
