are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
