He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
